It’s Official! The Senate has confirmed Elena Kagan as the Ugliest Woman in America! Kagan narrowly beat out Barack Obama’s prior nominee for Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sodomizor, for the crown. Yes, Obama sure knows how to pick em!
Next, Kagan will go up against Britain’s Susan Boyle for the Worlds Ugliest title!
Static Killed!
Actress Kristen Stewart is a much more interesting person than her Twilight character Bella Swan. When asked what music she is into, during a recent interview with PopCandy, Kristen replied:
“I listen to The Shins and Radiohead and Interpol. And we saw Band of Horses last night, and that was awesome, because they’re, like, my favorite band right now. I love Camera Obscura and Jenny Lewis.”
Those are all some of my favorite bands too. If only Kristen could put more of herself into the Bella Swan character? Author, Stephanie Meyer, has Bella hooked on Yanni or something?? Boring.
Have you seen Kelly Ripa’s arms lately? Ripa has been getting ripped! The petite blond is now sporting Arnold Schwarzenegger arms – circa 1984 even!
Her arms look too big for her small frame. I’m sure Kelly thinks she looks great, but she has unknowingly crossed over from toned arms – to man arms!
Ripa’s arms are so muscular even Madonna would get grossed out by them! I have the feeling Ripa is sweetening her coffee with anabolic steroids?
Maybe she’s trying to win a Relly Award for ‘Ugliest Arms On A Woman’? Poor senile Regis probably thinks he’s been co-hosting with Hulk Hogan the past few months?
World-wide superstar Robet Pattinson’s latest movie Remember Me took in a meager $8.3 Million dollars at the box office coming in 4th place! I wonder what happened to all rabid Twilight fans this time around?
I have a feeling the TwiHard’s prefer their Pattinson pale and non-breathing? It seems if Robert Pattinson isn’t playing vampire Edward Cullen, the theaters are shallower than Stephanie Meyer’s stories?
This is truly a case where a celebrity is worth more dead than alive!
Move over Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson has a new crush! Rob’s got his eyes on Golden Girl Betty White.
Rob told the gals of The View, “I think Betty White is probably one of the sexiest women in America. She’s vibrant, it’s sexy. I think the more age, the better.”
That is one May-December . . . December romance!
At least Pattinson has picked the ditsiest and most fun Golden Girl. Sophia was crazy. I’m still convinced Dorothy was a man? And Blanche was a slut.
It makes sense if you think about it? Betty White’s in the twilight of her life and if Pattinson’s character of Edward Cullen is 107 years old, then the 88 year old White is just a spring chicken! Man, Rob is such a method actor!
“ Thank you for being MORE than a friend! ”
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Whitney Houston’s comeback tour is going up in smoke! Angry fans stormed out of her show in Melbourne, Australia after Houston struggled to sing with a hoarse voice and was unable to hit her signature high notes.
“It was the worst concert ever,” said one fan.
Whitney is blaming her weak voice on her addiction to cigarette smoking. Her once perfect set of pipes are now filled with nicotine.
Whitney knows better? She was in that 90’s movie Waiting to Exhale after all.
If singing was my talent I wouldn’t destroy it with smoking. Whitney’s abusing her body like Bobby Brown after a few beers!
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A 25 year old stripper named Stefani Talbott is claiming that she had an affair with LOST star Matthew Fox. Talbot was dancing when she saw Matthew in the audience and recognized him from his role on Party of Five.
If her allegations are true it sounds like they had a party of two?
Fox, who is married and a father of two kids, should have an easier time explaining the plot of LOST to his wife, then explaining what happened with the stripper!
Maybe, he can get J.J Abrams to write him a convincing alibi?
Johnny Depp’s eyes are digitally enlarged by about 10% for his role as the Mad Hatter in the new Alice in Wonderland film.
Disney could have saved a bunch of money by hiring Elijah Wood for the role. Wood’s eyes are already at Hatter-size.
Elijah is nearly as good an actor as Depp is too. He had me completely convinced he was a homosexual Hobbit in the Lord of the Rings trilogy!
