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Before . . . and After

Soccer stud David Beckham, is in fear of going bald and getting fat. According to the National Enquirer, via Celebitchy, David’s wife Victoria, loves to tease her husband about his insecurities.

Says a source,

“She’ll tell him she found some hair in the shower and ask - was that his? She loves teasing him about his future as a schlumpy old man because it gives her the upper hand”

Posh likes to push Davids buttons. He could always get her back in a few years, by calling her ‘Old Spice’?

If Beckham does go the George Costanza route, maybe he can star in Balding Like Beckham? It could open up a whole new carrer for him?

E.V.O-NO! From the looks of it, Rachael Ray and Elvis Presley have more in common than a pair of funky shades. Guess they both share a love of fried peanut-butter and banana sandwiches!

But I’m sure Rach drowns hers in Parmigiano Reggiano! If she tried to feed me one of those, I would say, “return to sender!”

Someones doing Damage Control!!!!

Michael and Dina: The Family that keeps on Giving.

These Celebrity’s made it to the top of the Bad Skin Poll.

Michael Jackson turns 50 today! Congratulations to him and his nose, which must be around eleven? After multiple rhinoplasties, Michael has had his current button-schnoz since the late 90’s I believe?

Michael told GMA, that he is currently working on new music. Hopefully its a hit like Thriller, and not like the Filler of his last few records.

The big 5-0 doesn’t seem to bother the Peter Pan complexed Jackson,

“I feel very wise and sage, but at the same time very young,”

May the next 50 be scandal, accusation, and courtroom free!

Solange: The uglier, grouchier Knowles.

Prepare for 90 minutes of awkwardness!

Here’s a list of fun Marathons to watch Monday(Labor Day)

And I’m not talking about in his sleep either! Proving that the crazy apple doesn’t fall far from the crazy tree; Matthew McConaughey’s mom Kay, is holding nothing back in her new book I Amaze Myself. Kay McConaughey dishes on such topics as Matthew conception, to the death of her husband - during sex!

Kay tells Us,

“I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing,” she says. “But it was just the best way to go!”

I guess there are worse ways to go, like while watching Fools Gold, or Failure to Launch?  With Matthew’s bazaar shenanigans and Kay’s book; Matt’s baby-momma, Camila Alves, must be wondering what she shacked-up into???

Kay McConaughey’s memoir of things we didn’t need to know, is available online.

What ever happened to California’s three-strikes law???

Britney may be out at the VMA’s, but this train-wreck may be in!?!

Meet Lindsay Lohan’s 24 year old, soon to be step-mom!

Of course woudbe Obama assassins Tharin Gartrell and Nathan Johnson posed “no credible threat“, . . .

. . . when  you look just like Vanilla Ice  and ‘The New Guy’  DJ Qualls

Mario Lopez gets another hosting gig!

Is the new 90210 too racy for kids?  -  series star thinks so!

24 star, ” I Am Paid Too Much.”

Take this story with a grain of salt, . . . or catnip? The latest round of Batman-sequel rumors pegs pop icon Cher as the Catwoman. Just a few weeks ago the buzz was about Angelina Jolie as the frisky feline.

According to the Telegraph,  ‘Dark Knight’ director Chris Nolan wants to portray Catwoman as “a vamp in her twilight years.”

Portaying a cat on her ninth live seem right up the 62 year olds alley. Known for dating young men, Cher keeps her cougar claws sharp. If she gets the role, I bet she would want to wear some atrocious Bob Mackie designed costume?

And if it doesn’t work out, she still has her decade-long farewell tour to fall back on!