Michael Phelps is an anomaly. He has the body of a dolphin, but the brain of a goldfish. Since last years bong photo uproar, Phelps has vowed to never smoke weed again, and has cleaned up his act.
Unfortunately, at his first swim meet since the scandal, Phelps lost – twice! Maybe he swam with his medals around his neck?
Which makes me wonder if Phelps was faster when he was smoking dope? Marijuana makes normal people more relaxed and mellow; somehow weed gives Phelps speed?
Forget about doing laps in the pool, Michael – you need to hit the bong-water!
Think about it, after the Athens games, Michael was busted for DUI. Then, after the Beijing games he got caught with his lips around a bong pipe. If Michael has any hope of competing in the 2012 London games, he needs to start doing Meth, pronto!
It’s his only chance of being an Olympic Goldfish again!
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