Monthly Archives: July 2011

Apple Has More Cash Than The U.S. Government

by on July 29, 2011, 0 comments

This will make you feel confident in the U.S. economy; Apple Inc. has more cash on hand than the United States treasury! Apple has $76 Billion on hand compared to $74 Billion for the government.

Apple hasn’t made that pile of money from just selling iPhones and iPads; I think it’s because Apple CEO Steve Jobs wears the same clothes everyday!

You will only see Jobs in the same black shirt and pair of jeans ever. I don’t think he’s gone clothes shopping since the Apple IIe came out? He probably bought those shirts in bulk, from a young start-up named Costco?

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Alex Trebek Robbed In San Francisco

by on July 28, 2011, 0 comments

Alex Trebek left his heart and some of his valuables in San Francisco when he was robbed earlier this week. Trebek was in town hosting the National Geographic World Championships, when at 2:30am he noticed someone in his room.

Alex chased the the burglar down the hall when he ruptured his Achilles tendon, fell and injured his other leg as well. That’s what I call a daily double!

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Where’s Casey Anthony Hiding NOW!

by on July 23, 2011, 1 comment

Forget Where In The World is Carmen Sandiego, the new mystery is where in the world is Casey Anthony? She hiding better than Waldo in a Where’s Waldo book.

They should really make a Where’s Casey? book. Not only could you search for Casey but you hiding in the pages are 12 moronic jurors. The book would not be recommended for children 3 and under, for obvious reasons.

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Dakota Fanning Has Ellen DeGeneres Haircut

by on July 19, 2011, 0 comments

Dakota Fanning has chopped off most of her hair for a film. No, it’s not a bio-pic about Ellen DeGeneres.

Dakota cropped her hair for the film Now is Good. Fanning plays a girl who is dying of Lukemia and compiles a list of things she would like to do before passing away.

I guess one thing on the list is look like Ellen DeGeneres.

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Natalie Portman Names Baby ALF

by on July 11, 2011, 0 comments

OK, so Natalie Portman’s baby boys name is actually Alef, not ALF. Alef is the first letter in the Hebrew alphabet and also represents “oneness of God”.

In English Alef means – ‘Im going to get teases for the rest of my life and called ALF.’

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Lindsay Lohan at 25

by on July 8, 2011, 0 comments

Congratulations to Lindsay Lohan who just turned 25. Yes, you read that right, Lindsay is only 25!

Multiple rehab stints and hard partying has taken a toll on Lohan, who is starting to look more and more like the late Eunice Shriver.

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This Week On The Bachelorette . . .

by on July 3, 2011, 0 comments

Every time I turn on The Bachelorette this season, the bacheleorette Ashley Hebert is crying her eyes out. First she fell head over heals for bad-boy Bentley, who was just playing with her emotions. Now it turns out even ABC is screwing her!

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