Formerly homeless, Ted Williams, the man with the golden-voice that makes angels cry, has a lot in common with Grammy award winner Amy Winehouse.
- They both have bad teeth. Amy gets a pass because she’s British.
- The both have unique powerful voices.
- The both have slept on the street.
- Ted and Amy share a love of drugs and alcohol.
- And they both have been to rehab.
This means with the right producer, Ted Williams could win the next Grammy award for Best New Artist! Go Ted!
Have you ever wanted to smell like the inside of a dirty crack-house? Well, now’s your chance. Amy Winehouse is reportedly launching her own line of perfume.
With just a few sprays you can smell like leftover meth resin, sour bong water, and yesterdays heroin, - with a hint of wasted talent!
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Singer Amy Winehouse has more in common with a wicked Witch than just ratty hair and bad skin. The troubled star is using the 1939 musical The Wizard of OZ as the basis for her next album.
The follow-up to her Grammy winning album Back to Black will use samples from the the Wizard of OZ original soundtrack and score, and will reportedly follow the films storyline.
I wonder if the land of OZ makes her feel like she’s on an acid trip? Does Munchkin Land give her the munchies? The poor girl probably thinks that the film is a stoner movie?
Amy’s ’OZ’ obsession explains why the singer always looks filthy; she probably thinks she’ll melt if water touches her!
Often celebrities who are addicted to drugs go to posh rehab facilities to try and get clean, Robert Downey Jr. went to Burger King. Rob was driving down the PCH in a car filled “with tons of dope”, when he stopped at BK.
Downey told Britain’s Empire Magazine,
“I have to thank Burger King, It was such a disgusting burger I ordered. I had that, and this big soda, and I thought something really bad was going to happen.”
At that moment Downey Jr. tossed all of his drugs into the ocean. I bet he tried to roll his ‘Whopper’ and smoke it; or snort some ‘Cheesy Tots’. Ordering half-baked instead of flame-broiled; he wanted it his way!
Forget ‘Celebrity Rehab’, Rob may be on to something? In-N-Out Burger is too addicting, Harold and Kumar are still high after White Castle, but Burger King is the perfect fast food to question your decisions in life! Somebody take Amy Winehouse there-STAT! In fact, give her a Coke IV and a Double Whopper injection!
Amy Winehouse was seen wearing what appeared to be a diaper under her dress Tuesday while on her way to visit her incarcerated husband Blake.
Arriving late to jail and missing her appointment, Amy lashed out at the waiting paparazzi, and probably peed her pants in the process. Good thing she was wearing a Diaper!
Wino should come out with her own brand of ‘Huggies’ for druggies! ‘For those moments when you cant control your bodily-functions.’
If she keeps Pamper-ing herself with diapers, and acting like a brat; she may want to change the lyrics to her hit song to: “They tried to make me go to pre-school, I said,no,no,no.”
Amy Winehouse ran out of her home last week claiming that ghosts were trying to harm her. The troubled star went on to say that one of the ghosts is named Henry and that the house has been taken over by the spirits.
Scratches on her arm were attributed to the ghosts and Amy refuses to go back to her London flat until the place has been exorcised.
Forget about the exorcism; no doubt her place could use a good cleaning! I’m sure the walls are caked with Meth resin.
I wonder if Amy and her so-called ghost had a ‘pottery moment’, like in the movie ‘Ghost‘? Instead of making a vase, I bet Amy was sculpting a new bong or crack pipe!
Amy’s only hope is not just rehab, its the gang from Scooby Doo!
Not only does the gang know a thing or two about ghosts, but I hear Shaggy has detox experience? Zoinks!
After 48 hours of hard partying, punching a man in a bar, and headbutting another man, Amy Winehouse was arrested for assault. The 24 year old singer, yes-she’s only 24(don’t do drugs kids), could get six months in jail, which is the maximum sentence in London. I’m sure Amy could use six months behind bars; it might get her clean?
I don’t feel bad for her at all. Who I really feel bad for is the guy she headbutted! Imagine seeing this ugly mug hurtling towards your face! She might be coke-skinny, but I’m sure her nasty beehive weights about 10 lbs. It probably felt like a bowling ball crashing into him!
There is only one person that can help Amy now, and that is Zack Morris! His quick wit and charm can melt the Meth off her face.
If he could get Jessie off Pills, he can ween Wino from her addictions.
“There’s no hope, with dope!”
Michael Jackson’s mug is starting to look pretty normal compared to the the spotted, sore , and discolored mess that is Amy Winehouse’s face.
Wino says she has Impetigo, a contagious skin disorder that forms round, crusted, and oozing spots.
Impetigo is caused by a bacteria. It probably started in Amy’s rats-nest of a weave. I’m no doctor, but I think I see a hint of Meth-Face in there too?
My prescription: Take two trips to Rehab, and call me in the morning.