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Susan Boyle is taking a page from the ‘Material Girl’ on her upcoming debut album; Boyle will cover Madonna’s 1995 hit ‘You’ll See‘.

I still think Boyle should sing ‘Like A Virgin‘. She was the inspiration for that song, right?

At least Susan is not singing any of Madonna’s more racier tunes like ‘Human Nature’, or ‘Erotica‘. “Erotic, Erotic, put you’re hands all over my body.” Yeah, I don’t care how great Boyle’s voice is, she could never pull that song off!

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I’m starting to think that Alex Rodriguez and Madonna were the perfect couple. They didn’t just have a connection – but many similarities. Here are just a few:

• They both had confessions to spill. Madonna’s were on a dance floor, A-rod’s on an infield.
• They both cheated on something they loved. Alex cheated on Baseball, Madonna on Guy Ritchie.
• A-Roid juiced up, while Madonna injected B-12.
• Actually, Looking at Madonna’s arms – she might just have a love of the steroids too?!?

Madonna’s twelve year old daughter, Lourdes Leon, is ready to get into show business and is “desperate” to become an actress. So much so, that Lourdes has enrolled in Professional Children’s School, a top NY acting school who’s alumni include Macaulay Culkin, Scarlet Johansson, and Sarah Jessica Parker.

I can already see Lourdes staring in a remake of When Harry met Sally, Harry and the Henderson’s, or some other ‘high brow’ comedy? Or, a Karate Kid remake? Mr. Miyagi needs to wax on, wax off -STAT!

I know, I’m evil . . .

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Madonna and Guy Ritchie are spending Christmas together in England, in what could turn out to be the most awkward Christmas dinner of all time. The super-star pair have called a truce during the Holiday for the sake of the children.

Last year the Ritchie’s only ate steamed fish and vegetables; strictly following Madonna’s macrobiotic diet. This year, Guy is going all out with Turkey and all the fixins. Madonna will eat a different meal consisting of fish.

I wonder if the kids are hoping for a rekindled romance between their parents? I’m sure they would do whatever it takes to bring them together like Lourdes’s unibrow?

Guy is also going to spoil his kids this year by letting them watch TV and eat sweets, something they never get to do with their mom. On second thought, maybe the kids are worried that their folks will get back together – and they’ll be back on a macrobiotic and TV diet!

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Things are getting ugly in the Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce, and I’m not talking about Madonna’s too-buffed arms!

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Left: Madonna, 10/6/08     Right: Buddy Holly, circa 1958

“Woo-ee-oo, she looks just like Buddy Holly”

Monday night in NY city, the queen of pop, Madonna, wore a pair of eye glasses very similar to those worn by the late Buddy Holly. I guess her eye-site isn’t what it use to be? She did just hit the big 5-0!

The vision is usually the first thing to go; but, Madonna letting age slow her down? – That’ll be the day!

Only Madonna could age backwards! Soon she may actually be a material-girl again? According to the Mirror, Madonna has re-invented her age. Today, what would be her 50th birthday is now her 36th.

The way to Madge’s fountain of youth is Kabbalah. Kabbalah high priests “using ancient techniques known only to a select few, calculated her spiritual age” by channelling Madonna’s energy.

Going by Kabbalah math, that makes 11 year old daughter Lourdes- an infant; and younger brother Rocco-still to be conceived? Adopted son David Banda has yet to be dropped off at a Malawian orphanage!?!

No wonder so may celebrity’s are into Kabbalah. That would put 46 year old Demi Moore at about 28 and make hubby Ashton 13, . . . that’s just wrong.

Things are about to get stickier if reports are true that Madonna has extended the invitation to Britney Spears to join the Material Girl on her upcoming ‘Sticky & Sweet’ world tour. The once lip-locked pair could create the concert event of the year, and it could get Britney’s music career back on track.

Choosing Britney to join the Sticky and Sweet tour seems like a no-brainer? Brit usually has sticky Cheetos-fingers, and a sweet Frappuccino in the other hand. In fact, it looks like Britney has been preparing for this tour for years! (more…)

With divorce rumors flying around quicker than a ray of light, Madonna’s mother-in law is speaking out saying that her sons marriage is not on the borderline, “because there is no divorce”, she says.  Hopefully Guy’s mum is not sugar-coating anything? She went on saying,

“They are no different to most other couples; We all know that being together can be hard sometimes and marriages are not always a bed of roses.”

Other “friends” have said the power couple plan to split after Madonna’s ‘Sticky and Sweet’ tour wraps in November. Guy Ritchie is reportedly heading to New York in one last-ditch effort to save his marriage.

It looks to me like they spend too much time apart. Guy should join Madonna on her tour, because, forget kabbalah, it’s music that makes the people come together! Remember that!

After saying that she wanted to “save Britney“, Madonna is now trying to give Tom Cruise’s tarnished image a much needed makeover. In doing so, she compares Tom to orphaned children in Malawi.

Sticking-up for Tom’s Scientology beliefs, Madonna told New York magazine “I don’t care if people worship turtles or frogs – if they’re good people, that’s all I care about, and he (Cruise) is a good person.

Maybe Tom should study Kabbalah? The ‘Evil-eye’ of Kabbalah feels more believable than the alien intergalactic ruler Xenu!

Madonna went on to say that Tommy ” gets a raw deal, just as I think the orphans in Malawi get a raw deal; just as I think a lot of marginalised people get a raw deal.”

Calling him marginalised sounds like a jab at his height. I guess its hard not to have fun with Tom?