28 articles Articles posted in movies

My Thoughts on Avatar

by on December 20, 2009, 2 comments

avatar blue man group

I saw Avatar on opening night in 3D. The story is really simple: It’s the year 2154, Earth is depleted and needs a new energy source. There is an elusive mineral on a far away moon called Pandora that the corporate humans want to mine and sell on Earth. Problem is, most of this mineral is directly under a huge tree inhabited by these large, blue, cat-like people called the Na’vi.

For some reason I have the feeling that the mineral under the Na’vi tree is actually colloidal silver? I’m no doctor, but it looks to me that the Na’vi have too much colloidal silver in their blood? It happened to this guy:

blue-man avatar

He’s addicted to colloidal silver like Lindsay Lohan is crack. I think if he keeps popping the colloidal silver he’s going to grow a cat-nose and tail soon?

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Drew Barrymore and Steven Spielberg working on ET sequel

by on May 18, 2009, 0 comments

ET sequel

Steven Spielberg and Drew Barrymore are secretly working on a sequel to the popular 1982 movie E.T.

According to The National Enquirer (hey, they were right about the John Edwards affair!)  Spielberg’s storyline has E.T. returning to Earth because he longs to see Gertie – the little girl who’s now grown up to be his adult human friend.

After seeing how much Gertie has changed in 27 years, I have a feeling E.T. is going to want to be friends with benefits! Aliens have their needs too!

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Star Trek Technology

by on May 15, 2009, 1 comment

Technology is always changing and evolving. Computers use to be the size of a house, and now they can fit in the palm of your hand.

The first cell phones were like carrying a pay phone around, – now there slim and compact. You don’t even need to talk into you cell phone anymore thanks to Bluetooth.

One of my biggest pet peeves are people who always have a Bluetooth device lodge in their ear 24/7. So annoying.

Which brings me to this confusing question?

Why do Bluetooth devices get larger in the future? In Star Trek they are at least double the size of ours today! Check out Uhura’s weighty Bluetooth!

star trek bluetooth

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The Real World: Enterprise

by on May 11, 2009, 1 comment

real-world-star-trek

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Spock: The Coolest Guy in the Galaxy

by on May 10, 2009, 0 comments

spock-and-uhura

Star Trek has set a course for ‘Cool’. The sci-fi series that was never as cool as Star Wars has gone hip at warp speed! And surprisingly, the crew member responsible for this, is not Captain Kirk, but the arched eyebrow Vulcan, Spock!

Spock is a pimp in the new JJ Abrams rebooted Star Trek. He’s got swagger!  Spock whispers sweet-logical nothings into the lady’s ears. And when Spock finally losses his cool – he get more cool! With one kiss he makes girls ears stand on end!

I always thought Vulcan’s were closet freaks.

I recommend Star Trek if you haven’t seen it. It has a little something for every one. Even if your not a fan you will find it entertaining.

My only complaint is – what with all the lens flare? It’s like trying to watch TV when the sunlight is hitting the screen? I wanted to tell someone on the Enterprise bridge to close a curtain or something?

Todays Burning Question

by on October 18, 2008, 0 comments

If Netflix has over “100,000 titles to choose from“, why are they always trying to get me to rent ‘Elf’ ?

At least two or three times a day, I get a pop-up from Netflix- with them trying to shove ’Elf’ down my throat!?!

 I don’t have a Netflix account, and if I did, ‘Elf’ probably wouldn’t be in my Que?  The movie does have Zooey Deschanel in it though? . . . Mmmmm Zooey Deschanel.

Blast Netflix, you win again!

Bloom and Knightley Have Night Fever

by on September 18, 2008, 3 comments

Dust off that polyester leisure-suit and put on your dancing shoes; according to the Mirror , Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley are going to star in a remake of 70′s classic Saturday Night Fever. After starring in 3 ‘Pirates’ movies, the pair is sure to see even more booty action in the Disco redux.

The new flick is called The Fever Returns. Unlike the original ‘Fever’ – set in Brooklyn NY, the new film will take place in the U.K.

Maybe Michael Phelps had a touch of the Saturday Night Fever when he hosted Saturday Night Live? That might explain his awkwardness?

The original Fever is a classic and one of my all-time fav’s; this new one cant be any worse than ‘Staying Alive‘, can it?

Oh well, at least Orlando Bloom wont have any problem lifting Keira Knightley’s frail frame around the dance floor. No word yet if the two remaining Gibbs will contribute music or help with jive talking. . .

Batman Begins with Dark Knight Re-release!

by on September 11, 2008, 0 comments

Hoping to generate Oscar buzz at the peak of award season, Warner Bros. is going to re-release the biggest money maker of the year, The Dark Knight, in January.

The Bat sequel is about $78 Million behind the record box-office haul of Titanic. That old lady in Titanic could sure bring in an audience! I bet Warner Bros. wants more than just an Oscar with the re-release.

A January showing is not a bad move; Oscar voters have as good a memory as ‘Hillary Clinton in Bosnia’ around award season. They seem to only vote for films that came out that week?

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Michael Cain says Johnny Depp is the Riddler.

by on September 8, 2008, 1 comment

Film legend and Bruce Wayne’s butler, Michael Cain, is saying that Johnny Depp has been chosen to play The Riddler in the next Batman film. Cain also says Phillip Seymore Hoffman will play The Penguin.

Is this legit, or is the old guy just going senial? Cain then spilled some details,

“I was with [a Warner Bros.] executive and I said, ‘Are we going to make another one?’ They said yeah. I said, ‘How the hell are we going to top Heath? And he says ‘I’ll tell you how you top Heath — Johnny Depp as The Riddler and Philip Seymour Hoffman as The Penguin.’ I said, ‘S–t, they’ve done it again!’” [Laughs]

For all we know, the Warner executive Cain spoke with was really a WB Page? I hope the veterain actor is right though; Depp and hoffman would make great villains!

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2008 US Olympic Stars

by on August 18, 2008, 2 comments

The 2008 Beijing Olympics have had many memorable moments and some truly interesting stories. With Hollywood’s seemingly endless lack of original screenplays, its only a matter of minutes until the studios buy the rights to some of today’s popular Olympic athletes.

I can alrady see the studio moguls mulling over such titles as :

Dara Torres in the 41 year old Swimmer

Think Rocky Balboa, in a swimsuit.

Or how about the record breaking feats of Michale Phelps and the 2008 Olympic Swim-team? I’m sure NBC will milk an 8 part mini-series out of it, entiled:

Michael Phelps mini series

You may have heard the Olympic commentators remark about how Phelps’ body is perfect for swimming. They went on and on about his long arms, big hands, elongated torso, short legs; a virtual dolphin body.

But what they forgot to mention is Phelps chimpanzee facial structure. With his primate good looks, he could easily star in:

Michael Phelps Movie