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Paris Hilton showed off a new pair of funky sunglasses this week. Many think Hilton’s fashion-forward look is reminiscent of Lady Gaga, but I think she’s trying to copy Commander Geordi La Forge from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Geordi was rockin the visor way back in the 80’s, probably before Paris was even born? Maybe Paris is wearing the shades in hopes of landing a role in the next Star Trek sequel? Imagine Paris on the Enterprise? There would truly be no hope for mankind!

But, the eye-wear does make the lyrics to Paris’s song ring true: Stars are Blind!

Although she’s stared in a sex tape, been engaged twice, and has dated a number of celebrities - from Nick Carter to Benji Madden; Paris Hilton insists she has only gone all the way a couple of times. Paris told Glamour  Magazine,

“I’ve only ever done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss. I think it’s important to play hard to get. Nobody wants the fake Prada bag — they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive. If you give it up to a guy he won’t respect you. He’ll want you much more if he can’t have you.”

This sounds about as truthful as the time Paris told Larry King that she’s never used drugs?!?

She really should have Googled herself before that interview!

Expect the heiress,or, should I call her Parisnocchio - to have an ever growing nose in the new year!

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Paris Hilton want to play Tinkerbell in a new live action film based on the popular Disney fairy. If Hilton gets the role, I could see the spunky sprite turning to coke! Just sayin.

According to  Page Six, Disney suits saw Hilton’s recent campaign spoofs and think “she may be developing some comedic-actress potential.”

I really think Paris’ chance of getting the role are as small as Tinkerbell herself.  But, by some twist of crazy on Disney’s part and Paris get the role; they should rename the movie Tinkerhell!

Paris Hilton is teaming up with Paul Reubens, better know as Pee-Wee Herman to you and me, in an as yet untitled project.

Paris definatly brings new meaning to ’Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho‘! 

Incidentally, this is what Paul Reubens looked like after watching Hilton’s break-out film, One Night In Paris.
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Forget the crashing US economy, here’s an even more shocking story. Hotel heiress, Paris Hilton, is giving up flirting!?!

Hilton is giving up the amorous ways for her tattoo covered boyfriend, Benji Madden.

Acting flirtatious was like a BFF to Paris, but now she’s saying Ttyn (Talk to you never) to flirting with anyone but her man. Expect this flirting abstinence to lasts as long as her music career.

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Paris Hilton could become a real royal after exchanging numbers with Prince William last week. The hotel heiress has reportedly been “frantically texting” the Prince, and has also invited him to the opening of her new nightclub in Las Vegas.

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She’ll give you the crabs-claw of death!

Paris Hilton may have to steal the famous line from Jessica Rabbit, ” I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way“, as Marvel comics Chairman Stan Lee has a Paris Hilton cartoon in the works. Lee, the legendary comic creator who created such memorable characters as Spiderman and the X-Men, is either running out of ideas, or hes going senile?

I can only imagine what Stan Lee and Paris have come up with? Maybe Paris can be ‘Ding-Bat Girl’ or ‘The Hot-Air Heiress’, ” She will destroy your mind . . . when she speaks!”

Relativity is Hot!

Paris Hilton is a genius, according to pal Hayden Panettiere. The ‘Heros’ star spoke-up for her, saying “Paris is much brighter than people give her credit for”; that the ‘dumb’ persona is just an act, and that Paris is “a marketing genius.”

Who knew Paris was the Einstein of young Hollywood? I always pegged Nicole Ritchie as the “Stephen Hawking” of that group? What do I know?

 Hayden went on to say that Paris, “is more level-headed than the ‘dumb’ character she projects to the media.”  I suppose then, that it was the ‘character’ who was driving without a license, got a DUI and did a stint in jail? Either way, Paris is quite a character!

Paris Hilton is in Africa. She hopes to bring peace to the region of Rwanda by combining the tribes of the Hutu and Tutsi under the umbrella of her new tribe, the Ditzy! You know Paris is going to return with a monkey or something? A Hyena in a handbag will be  the new rage in Hollywood!

The Los Angeles Department of Animal Services is investigating the Heiress after word came out that she has 17 dogs! Thats far more than aloud by Los Angeles County. On the ‘Ellen Degeneres Show’ Thursday, Paris revealed that she lets most of her dogs sleep with her and that the brood has grown so large because “they keep having babies, and I feel bad about giving them away.” Cruella, I mean Paris is turning into a crazy dog lady!

Bob Barker and Drew Carey should pay her a visit and spay and neuter her dogs, . . .  then they ought to go see ’American Idol’ host Randy Jackson and neuter his mouth for saying “Dawg” too much!!