54 articles Articles posted in Politics

Gaddafi’s Frizzy Hair

At the time of this writing, former Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi/Kadafi/Quaddafi – however you want to spell it, is still in hiding. With a move straight out of the Casey Anthony playbook, Muammar hasn’t been seen in weeks.

I think he might be hiding out of embarrassment. Hundreds of anti-Gadhafi protesters were shouting “It’s over frizzy head!”, mocking Muammar’s curly hair. Continue reading →

Muammar Gaddafi’s Mad Crush on Condoleezza Rice

Libyan rebels raiding Muammar Gaddafi’s compond have discovered a photo album full of pictures of former US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. It turns our Muammar had a huge crush on Condi. If that isn’t proof the guy was crazy, I don’t know what is? Continue reading →

Apple Has More Cash Than The U.S. Government

This will make you feel confident in the U.S. economy; Apple Inc. has more cash on hand than the United States treasury! Apple has $76 Billion on hand compared to $74 Billion for the government.

Apple hasn’t made that pile of money from just selling iPhones and iPads; I think it’s because Apple CEO Steve Jobs wears the same clothes everyday! Continue reading →

Dr. Phil Forces ‘Golden Voice’ Ted Williams Into Rehab

Ted Williams, the once homeless man with the Golden Voice, is going to rehab thanks to Dr. Phil. Williams got a taste of celebrity life for one week and is now in rehab  - being a celebrity sure is rough.

Poor Ted is actually being force into rehab by Dr. Phil. Gawker has the video clips. You can tell Ted doesn’t want to go,  but Dr. Phil forces him. Oh well, hope it works.

On a side note, doesn’t Ted Williams look like he could be Barack Obama’s homeless uncle? Even though Williams has been homeless for over 20 years, I still think he could whip-up a Birth Certificate quicker than Obama.

Elena Kagan : Confirmed!

It’s Official! The Senate has confirmed Elena Kagan as the Ugliest Woman in America! Kagan narrowly beat out Barack Obama’s prior nominee for Supreme Court Justice,  Sonia Sodomizor, for the crown. Yes, Obama sure knows how to pick em!

Next, Kagan will go up against Britain’s Susan Boyle for the Worlds Ugliest title!

How BP’s ‘Static Kill’ Procedure Works

Static Killed!

Smoking to Blame for Whitney Houston’s Bad Voice.

Whitney Houston’s comeback tour is going up in smoke! Angry fans stormed out of her show in Melbourne, Australia after Houston struggled to sing with a hoarse voice and was unable to hit her signature high notes.

“It was the worst concert ever,” said one fan.

Whitney is blaming her weak voice on her addiction to cigarette smoking. Her once perfect set of pipes are now filled with nicotine.

Whitney knows better? She was in that 90′s movie Waiting to Exhale after all.

If singing was my talent I wouldn’t destroy it with smoking. Whitney’s abusing her body like Bobby Brown after a few beers!

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Jay Leno For Job Growth!

With the US unemployment rate in double digits, I really think Barack Obama should hire Jay Leno as Secretary of Job Growth. Leno knows how to get a job!

Think about it: Jay was forced to retire, then given a new prime time job – which was a colossal failure, then was promoted to an even better gig!?!

Yes, I’m sure Jay will fight, steal, back-stab, and never retire until everyone in America has a job, except Conan O’Brien.

Life’s Mysteries: Al-Qaeda

Have you noticed whenever there’s an act of terrorism, like a suicide bomber or a car bomb, some terrorist organization like Al-Qaeda or another Islamic extremist group, loves to take credit for it?

I swear, they’re about as giddy and boastful as those people in those Windows 7 ads!

New ‘Harry’ Book!!!

Harry Reid Mormon

This image popped into my head while I was at work today and made me laugh. All I know is, Senator Harry Reid, must have been made fun of constantly during his school years!!!

Reid and the other Senator wizards, can make thousands of American jobs disappear with one wave of their wand!