Whitney Houston’s comeback tour is going up in smoke! Angry fans stormed out of her show in Melbourne, Australia after Houston struggled to sing with a hoarse voice and was unable to hit her signature high notes.

“It was the worst concert ever,” said one fan.

Whitney is blaming her weak voice on her addiction to cigarette smoking. Her once perfect set of pipes are now filled with nicotine.

Whitney knows better? She was in that 90’s movie Waiting to Exhale after all.

If singing was my talent I wouldn’t destroy it with smoking. Whitney’s abusing her body like Bobby Brown after a few beers!

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Think about it: Jay was forced to retire, then given a new prime time job – which was a colossal failure, then was promoted to an even better gig!?!

Yes, I’m sure Jay will fight, steal, back-stab, and never retire until everyone in America has a job, except Conan O’Brien.

I swear, they’re about as giddy and boastful as those people in those Windows 7 ads!

This image popped into my head while I was at work today and made me laugh. All I know is, Senator Harry Reid, must have been made fun of constantly during his school years!!!

Reid and the other Senator wizards, can make thousands of American jobs disappear with one wave of their wand!

Federal Judge, Sonia Sotomayor, has been all over the television in recent days during her Supreme Court confirmation hearing.

I’d like to appeal seeing Sotoamayor’s mug on my TV, please! My poor set can’t take anymore.

Sonia Sotomayor is the Latina Susan Boyle, except Susan Boyle has talent – Britain said so.

Now if only Debbie Rowe joined in, they could form an all girl singing group, similar to Wilson Philips, but made up entirely of the Carnie Wilson type.

I can hear they’re first single now; a remake of that time tested classic, ‘Who Let The Dogs Out?’!

What has happened to former Vice President, Al Gore? The guy looks like he’s aged 15 years in just two! His hair has been stripped of it’s color and his skin is pale white.

It looks like Al needs to take some time out of his busy schedule for an inconvenient tan! Seriously, it looks like he trying to get a role in the next ‘Twilight’ film! Sorry, Gore – Vampires don’t age!

Al should harness some of his energy fighting Global Warming and try to save his face. He should really be glad that the Earth is getting warmer – he could use some sun!

If this is what happens to you after you win a Nobel Prize, then I hope to never be nominated.

Al, instead of fighting Climate Change – focus all your efforts on Complexion Change!

Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his hair are coming to a TV set near you if NBC gets its way.

The peacock network wants Blago for its summer reality series ‘Im a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here’.  I’m sure Blagojevich, who spent more time on the talk-show circuit than his court trial, is dying to get back in front of the cameras.

Rod’s attorney filed a request to loosen his client’s travel restrictions to participate in the show, which will be shot in Costa Rica.

This proves my point that if you act completely nuts  people will pay you money. I call it the ‘Nadya Suleman Effect’.

So what does 16 criminal counts — 11 of wire fraud, three of extortion, one of racketeering and one of lying to federal investigators get Blagojevich? One Reality show – in Costa Rica!

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For giving away Billions of dollars in bail-out money, Barak Obama sure went cheap when exchanging gifts with England’s Prime Minister Gordon Brown!

At their first formal meeting, Gordon Brown gave Obama a very thoughtful and rare gift. Brown’s gift was “an ornamental pen holder made from the timbers of the Victorian anti-slave ship HMS Gannet.” He also gave Obama a first-edition seven-part Winston Churchill biography.

Barak Obama gave Gordon Brown some DVDs. I’m serious, he gave him 25 DVDs! There all great films, among the set were Casablanca, Vertigo, Some Like It Hot, E.T ; but, C’mon, that’s a gift straight from the isles of Target!

I’m sure Gordon Brown gets TCM over in England or some kind of movie channel? Obama’s acting like American movies are rare across the pond? Obama should have at least given the Prime Minister Blue Ray, or a Netfilx account?

For their next visit Obama will probably give him a box set of the BBC version of The Office!

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Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad *Cough!*, excuse me, I always seem to hawk-up phlegm when I saying ‘Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’? Anyways, Iran’s President  has started a new international conflict – this time with Hollywood!

Ahmadinejad is demanding an apology from the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences for “insults and accusations against the Iranian nation,” and has called out ‘Best Picture’ nominee The Wrestler as an offender. The Wrestler features a character known as The Ayatollah. Ha! For living in the arid desert of the Middle east, Ahmadinejad is not very thick-skinned?

Another movie that puts Mahmoud in a bad mood is the 1991 Sally Field flick Not Without My Daughter. That movies 18 years old. Ahmadinejad has a great memory for someone who denies the Holocaust ever happened?

Forget about being upset about Not Without My Daughter or The Wrestler; Hollywood owes everyone an apology for Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull! We waited 20 years for that! I would take Ahmadinejad’s *Cough!* concerns more seriously if they involved that movie. Now I have to go, my throat is killing me!

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