hidensneek.com

For a small man Gary Coleman has a lot of anger! Coleman was on The Insider last week to talk about his recent arrest for spousal abuse when suddenly he went on an angry rant about Haiti.

Gary’s sick of all the media coverage Haiti has received since the earthquake and thinks everyone should stop sending money to Haiti and concentrate on rebuilding New Orleans.

Maybe this is why Gary Coleman never got a call from George Clooney to take part in the Hope For Haiti Now telethon? Or, maybe it’s because Colman’s career has been over since Clooney was on The Fact’s Of Life?

And the LORD said, “I got an app for that!”

Apple unveiled their new computer gadget today, the iPad. I swear, the computer geeks were hanging on every word Apple chief Steve Jobs said, as if he were Moses reading from the tablets of the Ten Commandments!

Apple’s new toy looks like an overweight iPhone, and I’m still not sold on the name? iPad, really? Oh well, could be worse?

I hear it was originally going to be called the iTampon?

Elvis Presley turned 75 today, and I have to admit, he’s never looked better. I just saw a clip of him on TV and he didn’t look a day over 42? I don’t know what his secret is?

Elvis Costello, take note!

It seems actor Gary Busey has been getting busy? Busey is going to be a father again at the age of 65! Gary knocked-up his girlfriend, Steffanie Sampson, who surprisingly looks very normal.

For their new baby’s sake; I hope the kid looks exactly like it’s mother! The world doesn’t need another Gary Scary Busey!

 The Swine Flu, or as we in the scientific community like to call it, H1N1, is nothing to laugh at! Just ask ‘I kissed a Girl’ singer Katy Perry.

Perry is facing angry backlash after sporting a ring of a ‘flying pig’ and calling the Swine Flu, “super trendy”.

What I want to know is – why does a global epidemic suddenly turn everyone into Doctors? Everyone from Mexico to China is walking around in surgical masks? Pretty soon they’ll be wearing stethoscopes!

Are they all on-call? If I spent eight years in Med School – I would be pissed to see all these phony Doc’s scrubbing in!

(more…)

Many people are confused about the Swine Flu.  Paris Hilton thinks that she can get it from eating pork, while Vice President, Joe Biden, thinks you can catch it on a plane.

Now, the CDC is no longer calling it the Swine Flu and are referring to it by its real name: H1N1. H1N1 sounds like it’s straight out of Star Wars? I have the feeling that this is actually a Droid Flu?

The media always blows things out of proportion! Humans need not worry, but if your a Protocol or Astromech droid – watch out! I bet the Droid Flu originated with cheaper labor-droids working in the spice mines of Kessel? Those are tough working conditions with dirty oil-baths.

(more…)

It looks like Britain’s Got Talent star Susan Bolye has a lot more experience than she led on? Susan famously said, that in her 47 years, she had never been kissed. Now, she’s saying that it was all just a joke!

“That was made as a joke! Never been kissed? I’ve never stopped,” Susan remarked during a chat with U.K. morning show GMTV on Tuesday.

Boyle’s ‘unlucky in love’ confession tugged at the world heart-strings, and moved myself to offer my services in the kissing department!

Boy, Susan really led me on! I feel like a fool, and the sad part is, . . . I didn’t even see it coming? That’s what you get for wearing your heart on your sleeve.

(more…)

Susan Boyle, the YouTube and Britain’s Got Talent sensation, has never been kissed. After her amazing performance that has captured the attention of the world, the question remains: Who will be Susan Boyle’s first kiss?

Simon Cowell has made it clear that is lips wont be involved. “No, I will not be the first person to kiss her”, says Cowell.

Randy Jackson thinks otherwise? “I think Simon and I should do a dual kiss on each cheek on Susan Boyle.”

Well, I’m here to say that I’m throwing my hat in the ring! I felt bad for Susan Boyle for about 2 seconds – then I realized that she is probably going to get her own singing gig, reality show, and who knows what after all is said and done.

If I become the first person to kiss Susan Boyle, I will go down in history! I’m taking one for the team. Yes, Susan is 16 years my senior, but the occasional Cougar gets my blood boylein!

Click the banner below to sign my ‘Susan Boyle Petition’!

(more…)

Place all the ingredients in a large bowl, and let it ferment for 47 years! When it is finally done you will have . . .

(more…)

Dora the Explorer is growing up. The bilingual pre-school favorite is getting a tween makeover thanks to Mattel and Nickelodeon. Besides having a new line of toys and products to sell, Mattel wants Dora to age with her audience and “experience the new things” fans are going through.

But be careful what you wish for because a tween Dora leads to a teen Dora and teen celebrities are good at making fools of themselves. Soon I see Dora exposing too much skin:

 Hopefully she never “forgets” to wear underwear. I never want to see a Dora up-skirt!

(more…)