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Taylor Swift wants to guest star on the hit show Glee. I’m all for Swift being on Glee because THERE IS NO LIVE SINGING!

Did you see Taylor’s performance on the Grammys this year? It was sketchier than that crappy drawing I did above! I’ve heard more melodic sounds coming from a cat in heat!

Don’t get me wrong, I like Taylor because she writes her own songs and is a fellow guitar player but, the girl isn’t a great vocalist. She makes Quinn, the knocked-up cheerleader from Glee, sound like Barbra Streisand!

Thankfully all the music on Glee is pre-recorded and heavily produced!

And the LORD said, “I got an app for that!”

Apple unveiled their new computer gadget today, the iPad. I swear, the computer geeks were hanging on every word Apple chief Steve Jobs said, as if he were Moses reading from the tablets of the Ten Commandments!

Apple’s new toy looks like an overweight iPhone, and I’m still not sold on the name? iPad, really? Oh well, could be worse?

I hear it was originally going to be called the iTampon?

I really liked Walt Disney’s latest animated film The Princess and the Frog.  Disney is being applauded for finally having a Black princess, Princess Tiana.

But, many forget that over the years there have been many different ethnicities in the Disney princesses.

Jasmine is Arabic, Mulan is Asian, and Pocahontas is Native American.

And Snow White had to be Mexican? Think about it, she was employed as a maid and lived in a small house with seven other people! I swear, in one scene she was selling a sack of Oranges on the side of the road???

Pope Benedict the 16, 17, . . . Eggs Benedict – whatever his name is – is releasing an album this November. With the passing of the ‘King of Pop’, I wonder if Benedict will proclaim himself the ‘King of Pope‘?

Who knew the church had more in common with Michael Jackson than just molestation allegations? I kid, I kid . . . we all know Michael didn’t do it!

This album could be huge if just a fraction of the worlds one billions Catholics pick up a copy. The album should be called ‘50,000,000 Benedict Fans Can’t Be Wrong‘!

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The 1980’s have found Keanu Reeves. The 44 year old actor is using a computer for the first time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got suckered into  buying a Commodore 64.

Who knew the star of the technology laden film, The Matrix, never owned a computer?

Reeves must be a better actor than we all give him credit for?  With the way Keanu delivers a line, I thought all his acting research came from a Speak & Spell!

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I just finished watching the memorial for Michael Jackson. With one of the biggest funerals of all time and now the question of where he will be buried; Michael can now be called ‘The King of Plot‘.

Jackson’s memorial at the Staples center featured many celebrities, friends, family, and oddly, John Mayer? The celebs remembered and honoring the late star.  I couldn’t help but wonder why Bubbles wasn’t invited?

For a few years during the late 80’s, Bubbles the chimp knew Michael better than anyone! I guess he wasn’t one of the lucky 9,000 who got a wristband and a ticket to the Memorial?

I have a feeling Michael’s daughter Paris is going to be a star, the few words she spoke at the end, stole the show!

The hottest tickets in the world right now are not for Madonna, Miley Cyrus, or the Jonas Brothers; in fact, there not even for a concert.

The tickets, that are going for huge bucks on ebay, are for Michael Jackson’s memorial service!  Tuesdays memorial at the Staples Center in LA, is going to be the biggest funeral ever!

The Staples Center only holds a little under 9,000 people, and over 1.6 million signed up for tickets!

I really think they should have hid the memorial tickets inside of Wonka Bar’s. I think Michael would have liked that? They would have sold a million bars!

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Hey girls, have you ever wanted to get your hands around ‘Twilight‘ hunk, Robert Pattinson? Well, you’ll get your chance this November when ‘Twilight’ comes to the Barbie universe.

You can recreate all the fun and bad dialogue of the teen-vampire drama with the poseable dolls of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. Interestingly, the plastic Barbie dolls seem more animated and lifelike than their movie counterparts?

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Kevin Jonas is trading his purity ring for a wedding band! The Jo-bro with the biggest fro, popped the question to his longtime girlfriend, Danielle Deleasa, Wednesday.

Deleasa’s reply was “yes,yes,yes, like 500 times“, says Kevin.

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Can you imagine Johnny Depp bringing Michael Jackson’s life story to the big screen? Depp’s name is on a short-list of actors to portray the ‘gloved one’.

I don’t think the idea is so far fetched, I mean, Depp has played a man with scissors for hands, for crying out loud. We all know Johnny is a great actor, but can he dance?

Think about it, if you combine the child-like innocence of Edward Scissorhands, with Jack Sparrow’s reckless adventure, and Depp’s sexualy ambiguous Willy Wonka, - you have a latter-day Michael Jackson!

Depp even brought Michael’s hero J.M. Barrie to life in Finding Neverland.

Johnny had better start practicing his Moonwalk – Hee Hee, Shamon!!