The greatest thing about the iPhone 4s, is Suri – the personal assistant. How they got Suri Cruise involved is beyond me? Ask Suri anything and she’ll get to work. Continue reading →
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Gaddafi’s Frizzy Hair
At the time of this writing, former Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi/Kadafi/Quaddafi – however you want to spell it, is still in hiding. With a move straight out of the Casey Anthony playbook, Muammar hasn’t been seen in weeks.
I think he might be hiding out of embarrassment. Hundreds of anti-Gadhafi protesters were shouting “It’s over frizzy head!”, mocking Muammar’s curly hair. Continue reading →
Natalie Portman Names Baby ALF
OK, so Natalie Portman’s baby boys name is actually Alef, not ALF. Alef is the first letter in the Hebrew alphabet and also represents “oneness of God“.
In English Alef means – ‘I’m going to get teased for the rest of my life and called ALF.’ Continue reading →
Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez Getting Married
Mr & Mrs Bieber
How does the name Selena Bieber sound? Probably god-awful to millions of tween girls around the world. Reports are circulating that Justin Bieber is going to propose to Selene Gomez on her birthday, which is coming up soon on July 22. Continue reading →
Trapped Chilean Miners Are Having A Gay Time
At the time of this writing the 33 miners of Chile will have been trapped for 61 days! I have a feeling that the San Jose Mine is looking more like Brokeback Mountain.
It’s hot down there. The miners are all half naked. You don’t think they might get the urge to do a little exploring of there own??
The families of the miners have been camping outside the mine, holding onto hope that they will see their loved ones soon. But I hear the families grew concerned when the miners requested the greatest hits of the Village People.
OK, so I made that last part up. But mark my word, they’re doing the YMCA down there!
Taylor Swift On Glee
Taylor Swift wants to guest star on the hit show Glee. I’m all for Swift being on Glee because THERE IS NO LIVE SINGING!
Did you see Taylor’s performance on the Grammys this year? It was sketchier than that crappy drawing I did above! I’ve heard more melodic sounds coming from a cat in heat!
Don’t get me wrong, I like Taylor because she writes her own songs and is a fellow guitar player but, the girl isn’t a great vocalist. She makes Quinn, the knocked-up cheerleader from Glee, sound like Barbra Streisand!
Thankfully all the music on Glee is pre-recorded and heavily produced!
iPad Commandments
And the LORD said, “I got an app for that!”
Apple unveiled their new computer gadget today, the iPad. I swear, the computer geeks were hanging on every word Apple chief Steve Jobs said, as if he were Moses reading from the tablets of the Ten Commandments!
Apple’s new toy looks like an overweight iPhone, and I’m still not sold on the name? iPad, really? Oh well, could be worse?
I hear it was originally going to be called the iTampon?
Ethnic Disney Princesses
I really liked Walt Disney’s latest animated film The Princess and the Frog. Disney is being applauded for finally having a Black princess, Princess Tiana.
But, many forget that over the years there have been many different ethnicities in the Disney princesses.
Jasmine is Arabic, Mulan is Asian, and Pocahontas is Native American.
And Snow White had to be Mexican? Think about it, she was employed as a maid and lived in a small house with seven other people! I swear, in one scene she was selling a sack of Oranges on the side of the road???
Pope Benedict Album Coming Soon
Pope Benedict the 16, 17, . . . Eggs Benedict – whatever his name is – is releasing an album this November. With the passing of the ‘King of Pop’, I wonder if Benedict will proclaim himself the ‘King of Pope‘?
Who knew the church had more in common with Michael Jackson than just molestation allegations? I kid, I kid . . . we all know Michael didn’t do it!
This album could be huge if just a fraction of the worlds one billions Catholics pick up a copy. The album should be called ‘50,000,000 Benedict Fans Can’t Be Wrong‘!
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Keanu Reeves Finaly Owns a Computer
The 1980′s have found Keanu Reeves. The 44 year old actor is using a computer for the first time. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got suckered into buying a Commodore 64.
Who knew the star of the technology laden film, The Matrix, never owned a computer?
Reeves must be a better actor than we all give him credit for? With the way Keanu delivers a line, I thought all his acting research came from a Speak & Spell!
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