4 articles Tag David Archuleta

David Archuleta: Never Been Kissed

David Archulata Never been kissed

Nearly winning season 7 of ‘American Idol’ has not helped David Archuleta in the love department. David  reveals in a new Seventeen questionnaire, that he has never been kissed! All those screaming girls crys were falling on deaf lips!

Besides keeping his mouth pure - ’till marriage most likely?; David said that he “doesn’t get” why girls wear short skirts?  What 17 year old male doesn’t get that? Or at least appreciate it? Another interesting revelation is that he looks up to singer Sara Bareilles, adding,  ”I wish I were her.”

Clay Aiken(who I’m sure hasn’t kiss a girl either) still has one-up on him; He was able to get a girl pregnant-without kissing her! I bet David has been so controlled his entire life that he’s expecting his loony Dad to tell him when girls no-longer have cooties!?  I kind of wish David A. won ‘American Idol’ now; He sang all those love songs as if he knew what he were doing!

Celebrity Mash-Ups!

The Dolly Lama

The Dolly Lama

David Archuleta Cook

 David Archuleta Cook

Prince William

Prince William

Last Idol Standing

American Idol winner

Although Simon Cowell called David Archuleta’s final ‘America Idol’ performance a “knockout-punch”, it was the other David who went the distance winning the American Idol crown for 08′. David Cook’s fans really kicked it up a notch, winning by over twelve million votes! Now that a knockout with more BAM than Emeril Lagasse!

In the end, what looked like a close showdown wasn’t close at all; Archuleta’s goose was Cooked!

But now I feel really bad for both Davids. David Archuleta’s crazy dad is probably going to go all Joe Jackson on him? I bet he’s getting whooped right now? I hope David C. has a security team. David A’s dad would love to make him the next Nancy Kerrigan!

David Cook Vs David and Goliath

david cook vs david archuletta and dad

Here’s what we know about American Idol next week.  Someone named David will win.

David Archuleta will sing with his eyes closed, while looking like an Osmond; must be something in the water in Utah?

david archuletta     donny osmond

David Cook will still sport his trademark ‘just out of bed’ look!

david cook

Little David’s crazy stage-dad will continue to look like Popeye, . . . if Popeye was a pedophile.

david archuletta and dad

I really hope David Cook wins, just so I can see crazy-Popeye blow his lid!

Team David! (Cook)