Often celebrities who are addicted to drugs go to posh rehab facilities to try and get clean, Robert Downey Jr. went to Burger King. Rob was driving down the PCH in a car filled “with tons of dope”, when he stopped at BK.

Downey told Britain’s Empire Magazine,

“I have to thank Burger King, It was such a disgusting burger I ordered. I had that, and this big soda, and I thought something really bad was going to happen.”

At that moment Downey Jr. tossed all of his drugs into the ocean. I bet he tried to roll his ‘Whopper’ and smoke it; or snort some ‘Cheesy Tots’. Ordering half-baked instead of flame-broiled; he wanted it his way!

Forget ‘Celebrity Rehab’, Rob may be on to something? In-N-Out Burger is too addicting, Harold and Kumar are still high after White Castle, but Burger King is the perfect fast food to question your decisions in life! Somebody take Amy Winehouse there-STAT! In fact, give her a Coke IV and a Double Whopper injection!

Child Star Tatum O’ Neal is blaming the loss of her dog as the reason for driving her to Cocaine. After being caught buying the dope by police, Tatum first tried the “doing research for a film” excuse, but now the Paper Moon actress’s dog alibi is even more paper-thin.

Calling the mutt the “fabric” of her family, Tatum says she was too devastated after putting the old, cancerous dog down.

“I couldn’t get out of it. I was going to my psychiatrist. I was doing everything I could do. I have the disease of alcoholism. It’s lifelong. I treat it every day by going to my 12-step program.”

She insists that she is still clean and that the drug bust was a close call.

adding, “I’m still sober! Just when I was about to change that and wreck my life, . . . I was saved by the bell!”

Now there’s and excuse that finally makes sense! Film research and the death of a dog are flimsy stories; but being rescued by a Saturday morning teen sitcom,- that I can believe in! See you in detention rehab!

Amy Winehouse was seen wearing what appeared to be a diaper under her dress Tuesday while on her way to visit her incarcerated husband Blake.

Arriving late to jail and missing her appointment,  Amy lashed out at the waiting paparazzi, and probably peed her pants in the process. Good thing she was wearing a Diaper!

Wino should come out with her own brand of ‘Huggies’ for druggies! ‘For those moments when you cant control your bodily-functions.’

If she keeps Pamper-ing herself with diapers, and acting like a brat; she may want to change the lyrics to her hit song to: “They tried to make me go to pre-school, I said,no,no,no.”

 Wino says she has Impetigo, a contagious skin disorder that forms round, crusted, and oozing spots. 

Impetigo is  caused by a bacteria. It probably started in Amy’s rats-nest of a weave.  I’m no doctor, but I think I see a hint of Meth-Face in there too?

My prescription: Take two trips to Rehab, and call me in the morning.

Britney’s “Manager” Osama Lutfi has admitted to Us Magazine that he has given Brit drugs. The allegations were first reported Tuesday when Lynne Spears Restraining Order testimony was made public. Osama admitted to giving her ” a handful ” of what he called “Miracle Pills.” He said the pills were helping her sleep. Hopefully this guy goes from Osama Lutfi, to Osama Left-out . . .  of Britney’s life!