3 articles Tag Mario Lopez

Mario Lopez: Pi-RAT of the Caribbean

Mario Lopez is a Pig

Cover your ears kids; Mario Lopez revealed that he had sex on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. He calls the experience his proudest sexual moment. I can only imagine what he did in “fantasy” Land!?! He told People Magazine,

“(It’s) a long ride… It’s very dark. Hopefully I’ll get the raft named after me.”

Yes, they should rename the raft, ‘HO HO HO’, or ‘The Jolly Rocker’. ( If that rafts a rockin – run!) Thanks to Mario, getting splashed by the water on ‘Pirates’ might give you an STD now?  I’m going to dress like im heading to a Gallagher show on my next visit.

Mario Lopez is a Pirate

Who knows what else Mario did in the “happiest place on earth” ? He probably got frisky on Mr Toads Wild Ride, or Big Thunder? He brings new meaning to Star Tours!
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Mario Lopez: People’s Sexiest Man-Cub?

Mario Lopez in the Jungle Book

People magazine has named Mario Lopez the ‘Hottest Bachelor’ for there upcoming issue. The former ‘Saved by the Bell’ star had to strip down to his bare necessities for the photo shoot,-only wearing a loin cloth. Mario said the experience made him feel “like Mowgli from the Jungle book”.

If he stays in shape he might make a run for People’s ‘Sexiest Man-Cub Alive’; a feat not to unusual for Mario, he was a Bayside Tiger for 5 seasons, after all!

Tatum O’ Neal Barks Up the Wrong Tree!

Lassie and Tatum

Child Star Tatum O’ Neal is blaming the loss of her dog as the reason for driving her to Cocaine. After being caught buying the dope by police, Tatum first tried the “doing research for a film” excuse, but now the Paper Moon actress’s dog alibi is even more paper-thin.

Calling the mutt the “fabric” of her family, Tatum says she was too devastated after putting the old, cancerous dog down.

“I couldn’t get out of it. I was going to my psychiatrist. I was doing everything I could do. I have the disease of alcoholism. It’s lifelong. I treat it every day by going to my 12-step program.”

She insists that she is still clean and that the drug bust was a close call.

adding, “I’m still sober! Just when I was about to change that and wreck my life, . . . I was saved by the bell!”

Tatum O’ Neal Saved by the Bell

Now there’s and excuse that finally makes sense! Film research and the death of a dog are flimsy stories; but being rescued by a Saturday morning teen sitcom,- that I can believe in! See you in detention rehab!